Before you pursue that change….

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” Lao Tzu

 

Every time a new year comes it’s common to hear the phrases “New Year New Me” or “New Year’s Resolution”, although half the time when we are well into half of the year those concepts and ideas have become distant memories. Every Year I give myself the 1st month to take a break from social media as a lot of what is on there around this time are those commonly said platitudes. Although I’m all for self-improvement I think that most of the time we try to jump into change and into new behaviors because we’ve entered a brand new year. In my opinion change doesn’t really work that way. I never believed in going cold turkey on something in order to change. It’s also been said that it takes 3 weeks to form a new habit or to break one. Walking into this New Year my mind is still on the last few months of the old one. I use this time to evaluate what’s been working for me and what hasn’t. A lot of times when the new year comes around we are so ready for change that we don’t take the proper amount of time to really appreciate our situations for what they are whether good or bad. I take the 1st month to actually marinate in all the glory of the good and to feel all the emotion of the bad. Here’s a question I always ask myself & this is food for thought. Can you really take that first step to change if you haven’t really recognized your current state? We may be uncomfortable with ourselves and as soon as the 1st of the year comes around we want to take on a new identity. This really is just a masquerade and a way to not deal with our real hurt, pain, and issues. The key to making a lasting real change is to confront what we feel makes us uncomfortable with ourselves. If you can’t say goodbye while looking it in the eye it’ll come back around. I’m  not downing new year’s resolutions or even your commitment to being a “new you” I just hope that in your process to change you are aware of everything you need to be and not just pushing your bad habits or vices under the rug trusting that they will stay there.